Lucky
Is this how it feels for everyone? Something I cannot identify tightens around my chest like a corset gone rogue. My peripheral vision turns hazy and a voice inside my head screams at me to stop. To turn around and run. As if I could bolt away and dodge whatever it is that's trying to get me. My head feels heavy. My heart feels heavy. Sleep cannot come too soon. As I stand in the grocery store, I fantasize about the cool darkness of my bedroom. I see the wine red curtains, glowing against the late morning sun, trapping the heat inside the cotton fibers so that the room itself remains temperate. I envision myself lying on the bed, back to the silky sheets, eyelids closed. I must get there , I chant to myself. Or, I must work through this. These episodes don't show up often, but when they do I'm usually taken aback by them. I always thought I had escaped the curse of depression that seems genetically programmed into several family members. But then a day drifts in...