Dear Student IV
Dear Student, I don't know anything about you other than your name and that your blond hair likely comes out of a bottle. I don't know anything about your friends, either, except that the girl in the far left corner of this room looks like the stereotypical redneck and that your brunette friend in front of you could stand to smile. Perhaps if she smiled, she'd be somewhat attractive. Oh wait...I just saw Ms. Brunette smile and the contortions of her face scared me. So forget that I said anything at all about her physical attractiveness. In fact, from what you've showed me so far, all three of your personalities are so unattractive that your looks just don't matter. We've spent 37 minutes together now, a time during which I had to reprimand you several times for talking. As a substitute teacher, I understand that you walk in the classroom and rejoice. Your teacher is out for the day and you can, presumably, do less work. I get that feeling--I really do. Be...