Heptadecagon

Almost four years ago now, FRN wrote to me: In my next life, I'm coming back as Melina. Can I get an amen? Of course, she can get an amen from me. In fact, she can get a resounding AMEN . I love all of my children, but if I had to come back as any one of them, I'd pick her. Does that sound bad? It might. There's no doubt that I would love to have Aaron's way with numbers and ability to create anything from cardboard. I'd also be willing to experience Talia's melodious voice and aptitude for writing and drawing. And Zoe? Well, she also has a wonderful singing voice and ability to stand her ground, plus she's also a good writer. Each of my children possesses qualities that I can identify and appreciate. And if I get to come back, I could probably do pretty well as each of them. But Melina? Well, she's just another set of Legos all together. We've talked about this trait of hers before. The moments she stands before the mirror and likes what she s...

It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.  ~Joyce Maynard

(I know a couple of people who could use these words in particular right now. Good luck to you, and please know that I'm here for you if you need me. I don't want to pester you.)

As I sit at the table in the corner of our dining area, furiously typing as I try to catch the last of the evening sun, I have to ask myself: is this it? Is this the end of the blog? You see, over the last several months (five to be precise), I've watched as my drive to write has dwindled. The enjoyment I get from posting each day no longer gets me through that day and into the next, and I find myself drawn toward wanting to make my current pieces better rather than spend the time updating you on what's happening. Why is that? I don't have an answer. So until I have an answer, I'm thinking that I'll take some time to figure out what I need and what this blog needs, and whether or not I can sustain this relationship any more. Because no relationship should be a strain on any of the parties. I can't say that's not the case here. Stay tuned...

This photo can be found all over the internet (I copied it from this place ), but what I find interesting is that the words, while thoughtful, probably aren't those of Buddha. Yes, a fingernail's worth of digging found an article on where and how these words came to be. They are, in effect, an interpretation of Buddha's teaching. No matter, because these words make me think about many things in my life. And as I like to say, anything that makes me think is worth posting.

Many times, I've looked at another person and thought, In another life, I hope I'm just like her . It's not that she has more money, or better looks, or a cushy job. It's that she might be living out loud, as they say. Her pores exude happiness, or her persona is calm and peaceful. Perhaps she seems so comfortable in her own skin or her confidence shines from within. Whatever she possesses is something I'd like to have, someday. But I got to thinking about my statement and realized that it's really better for me to look at the situation differently. I should be aspiring to be that person today . There's no guarantee that I'll be getting another life.

Having read--and truly enjoyed-- One Day , by David Nicholls , I found myself excited to begin his latest novel, Us . The first chapter drew me in, and I found myself leaning into the page, interested, a feeling of happiness surrounding me. I even said to Tim, "You might want to read this book. The protagonist is a male scientist." You know, like Tim should read every book that features a male scientist because that, of course, also describes my husband. As my reading progressed, though, I realized that whatever I felt when reading One Day would not be replicated in this new book. Sure, I liked the characters: Connie and Douglas are memorable in their own right, with quirks and mannerisms that seem to jump from the page. I could get lost in the characters. But the plot wasn't doing anything for me. While Nicholls possesses the ability to weave together the past and present almost seamlessly, the plot strewn within that past and present didn't hold my attention. I...

Cold dark winter days remind me of many things. One of the most important is this:

Over at HuffPost Parents , Oren Miller (stay at home dad and blogger) does a nice job of telling us what he knows . Miller has Stage 4 lung cancer, which means that he most likely doesn't have long to live. He's written a beautiful, compelling, from-the-heart post that reminds us to live in the moment because those moments can be cut short or even taken away. We need to be reminded of that fact. Often . And since you're all my friends, I'm taking it upon myself to remind you. You KNOW what I'm going to say, right? (I guess I don't need to say it then.) Well I will anyway. Do not wait until dire circumstances arise to live your life the way you want to. (I'm not saying that Miller did that.) You need to take up the bucket list before it becomes a bucket list. (I'm not only predictable...I'm repetitive. I'm CERTAIN I've said this all before.) Kiss your partner in the rain if you so desire. Play with your children instead of doing the...