Introducing Nevaeh Kryslyn and Kolt Brody, or whatever...
Whence came the baby name obsession? (I don't get to use words like "whence" that often, so just play along and nobody will get hurt.) Seriously: 13.2 million hits for "baby names" on Google? Even the Social Security Administration is getting in on the action. I'm pleased to know that part of my payroll taxes (though I prefer the term "the money I'll never ever see again") goes toward helping people track the popularity of the name Wilhelmina over the decades. It turns out, in 1884 Wilhelmina peaked at the 215th most popular name for female babies born in the United States and issued Social Security numbers (is that enough caveats for you?). Sadly, the name has not been in the top 1000 for little baby girls since 1954.
What does this mean to you, pregnant reader? Well, it means that if you're looking for that rare, perfect name for your baby daughter, that name that you can shout from the mountain-tops: "This is my exceptional child who is unique among the cosmos, and as such, she requires a name that will speak to the rarity of her existence. Therefore I shall call her ... Wilhelmina." Forget about Brandilynne and Amairetta and Tierramisu. Wilhelmina is what you're looking for -- the name of Kaisers and queens and witches.
Perhaps you really are enchanted by names like Daysha Kiandra, Dansan Jericho, or Dalek Master. If that's the case, then please read this article before you put it on the birth certificate and make it permanent. By "permanent" I mean, of course, the 21st century definition of the word: what you write on the birth certificate is the baby's name forever except until it isn't.
If you're like me, though, you are on the other end of the spectrum: the people who make fun of people who name their kids things I wouldn't call my dog. I'll assume that's the case, because the Ambrosyanna Heighleymyrie crowd probably quit reading two paragraphs ago. I wish to draw your attention to this absolute gem: fifteen glorious pages devoted to snarky derision of parental stupidity. Spend a few hours there. Forward the link to your friends. Just, you know, come back to my blog when you're done, and I'll put up some new pictures of my own little buckets of sunshine. Hey, maybe that's a good baby name: Sunshyne Buckett...
What does this mean to you, pregnant reader? Well, it means that if you're looking for that rare, perfect name for your baby daughter, that name that you can shout from the mountain-tops: "This is my exceptional child who is unique among the cosmos, and as such, she requires a name that will speak to the rarity of her existence. Therefore I shall call her ... Wilhelmina." Forget about Brandilynne and Amairetta and Tierramisu. Wilhelmina is what you're looking for -- the name of Kaisers and queens and witches.
Perhaps you really are enchanted by names like Daysha Kiandra, Dansan Jericho, or Dalek Master. If that's the case, then please read this article before you put it on the birth certificate and make it permanent. By "permanent" I mean, of course, the 21st century definition of the word: what you write on the birth certificate is the baby's name forever except until it isn't.
If you're like me, though, you are on the other end of the spectrum: the people who make fun of people who name their kids things I wouldn't call my dog. I'll assume that's the case, because the Ambrosyanna Heighleymyrie crowd probably quit reading two paragraphs ago. I wish to draw your attention to this absolute gem: fifteen glorious pages devoted to snarky derision of parental stupidity. Spend a few hours there. Forward the link to your friends. Just, you know, come back to my blog when you're done, and I'll put up some new pictures of my own little buckets of sunshine. Hey, maybe that's a good baby name: Sunshyne Buckett...
Comments
- Mother of one daughter who named her child the #1 most popular name in Oakland County for 2007. :(
Thank you for your attention. :)
Nice Deal, Butcher Baker, Lotta Beers, and Good Bye.
Don't like those? Here are some other options:
Garage Empty, King Arthur, Infinity Hubbard, Please Cope, Major Slaughter, Helen Troy, Satan,Ima Hogg, Ima Pigg, Ima Muskrat, Ima Nut, and Ima Hooker.
Really, when you look at some of the real names people have given their children, is Fergus really so bad??
Going on that premise, I also suggest Yhtomit or Enitsirhc as your options for either a boy or a girl- You can look original from the outside, but in reality you are just backwards and boring (like my students).
Not such a good idea after all. :-)
..Although his father was killed, and you being my brother/the child's father, it seems wrong to put that sort of fate on you. Therefore, I change my choice to Fezzik. And if you happen to have a little lady, how about Teresa? ;)
What's a "thunk"?
+/ begin_computer-nerd
"Thunk" refers to a piece of low-level code, usually machine-generated, that implements some detail of a particular software system - in particular, function activation records in C/C++, especially those containing pass-by-name arguments - the thunk is the mechanism that delays the computation of the pass-by-name values until the function has completed.
end_computer-nerd -/
And that being said, you might consider reversing "ch" as a single unit as well, making it "Enitsirch" or "Sirch".
Just a thought...