Beth

I am not a big user of Facebook. I do check it most days, just to say Happy Birthday to those who have a birthday or look for a new picture or two from some good friends and family. Since there have been changes to Facebook, I went in and made a custom list of my friends so that I could be sure to see what I wanted. While I was clicking on the friend list, I realized that I hadn’t heard from a few people in a while. Once I made my list, I went back to check-in on their profiles to see what they have been doing as of late.

Imagine my shock and horror when I clicked over to my friend Beth’s profile. One of the first postings was from her teenage daughter. She expressed sadness and regret at not being able to see her mom. I scrolled down the page, and found another post: this time, the daughter had written on Mother’s Day how much she missed her mom. It slowly dawned on me that Beth had passed away, sometime within the last year, and I didn’t even know it.

I have to admit that I was much more shaken than I ever thought I would be. I continued looking at the older posts on her page, and found some of the information I wanted. From the looks of it, Beth had passed away on December 2, 2010, and left behind a 16 year old daughter, a 2 year old son, and her fiancé. What happened to her? I don’t know, and I am having trouble finding out.

I didn’t know Beth extremely well, but we sometimes commented on the other's posts. She was a student in my A&P classes. She chose to take me for all 3 quarters, and over that time, we spoke often. I don’t become Facebook friends with all of my past students, so there must have been something about Beth that spoke to me. And there was. I remember the first day I saw her in class. She had long blondish hair, some hip clothing, and a tan. Had I rushed to judgment here, I would have been completely wrong about her.

Beth was gushing about her new baby (I had one too, at the time) and speaking proudly about her older child. Truth be told, she just looked too young to have a 14 year old daughter! She sat right in the second row, and told me that she was so tired, that she had to sit in that spot in order to do well. These were evening classes, so even though I can’t remember if she worked outside the home during the day, I know that her days were filled with at least child-rearing and domestic duties. To come to school after a full day of that sort of work is commendable, to say the least.

Beth was not my best student, and she tended to ask the obvious questions. Sometimes, I wondered if she wasn’t listening, or if she just didn’t understand what I had said, or likely, she was just too tired to put all of the pieces together (I've been there!). But Beth was a trooper and was diligent. She befriended anyone, and asked help of everyone. This wasn’t a bad thing, though. If she knew the answer, she’d give the other students her knowledge without hesitation. Therefore, she sort of expected the same in return. Beth worked extremely hard every quarter to pass my class, and by the third quarter, she had done well enough to earn herself a B. To Beth, that was like winning the lottery. She was so proud of having earned a B in a tough class, and to be honest, I was quite proud of her myself.

There are always a few people in class who touch you. They can be the people that ask so many difficult questions it drives you crazy, but makes you a better teacher. Or, they can be the people that remind you of yourself. Furthermore, they can just have a common interest, so much that you become good friends. Beth didn’t fall into any of those categories, but something about her just resonated with me. She was only 31 when she took my class, but had lived enough to gain wisdom unlike many other people twice her age. Beth shared that wisdom willingly, and treated everyone with respect and kindness. The bottom line is that Beth was just good. Overall, a wonderful, kind, friendly soul, that clearly left this earth a little too early.

Yesterday, I found myself in tears when I realized that she had died last year. I felt angry that I didn’t know about her death, upset that I didn’t get to the funeral, and at a loss at what I could do now, almost a year later. There really isn’t much for me to do at all. I could send a note to her fiancé or see if a fund has been set up for her kids. And I’ll probably look into both of those options. But for now, I just had to tell the public about Beth. I don’t think anyone knows just how much of an impact we can have on one another. I know Beth didn’t.