I don't watch The Bachelor. I don't even keep up on that show. But I stumbled across the news that Sean Lowe, a former Bachelor alum, married the woman he met on the show. (Which installment of the long-running program was this man a part of? I have no idea.) I wish them much happiness and would love to see them stay out of the limelight. I'm no professional therapist, but I think lying low would help their marriage.
In the same article, I found snippets of what Sean said at the wedding. The only thing I want to say is this: if you are going to be on national television when you say your vows, go ahead and find yourself a good writer. (And if what he stated is the work of an actual writer, then there's hope for me, I'd say.)
Here's what Sean had to say (and you'll know exactly where I started to lose it): "The first time I saw you, you were like a light to my bug -- I had to find you. You mesmerize me with how brightly you've shone."
And: "Every time I look up at you my heart fills with love sprinkles."
Yeah, Sean said that, and I'm guessing Catherine swooned. But me? Those love sprinkles. They're good on cupcakes.
I'll take my snarky self back to the important things now.