Tell Me How You Really Feel: 6

We don't have any details about what happened yesterday, so I can only tell you this: that a sixth grade student from one of the middle schools nearby hanged herself. At school. While it was in session.

I have so many things I'd like to say about this occurrence, but with no evidence to tell the true story, I can't. So what can I say? This could have happened anywhere, even the girls' school. That the hanging of a student is tragic and awful and I feel for her family, friends, and school community. That I wonder about the story behind it all--what made this child (child!!) decide to end her life in such a gruesome form in a public way? And that no matter what, her parents will never get over this.

Because when I think about what happened, as a parent, I know that if I were in their shoes, I'd always blame myself.

I've seen many people say, "Go hug your children," and "Take the time to tell them you love them today," as if the simple gestures will smooth over the situation. You and I both know they won't. So the first thing I'd suggest is to talk about what happened yesterday with the kids, honestly and openly. But you can't do that just one time and hope for the best. You must be present and open to communication at all times. You must love your child with fervor. And even when you think you can't listen to another word they have to say, you must. Because that one word might be the time you hear the call for help.

Like I said, I have no idea what happened, and I'm not judging the child's parents or the schools. Do I think they missed something? Yes, I do. Put down your phone, your computer, your book, whatever form of leisure activity takes you away from being a parent who is present, and pay attention to your child. Each day, and every day. And that's How I Really Feel.

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