Lopsided

FYI: Names have been removed so as to protect the privacy of the innocent.  As if there is anyone truly innocent in this house.

Kid: Mom, I think I have a breast growing on one side, but not the other.
Me:  Hmmm.  That can happen.  Do you mind if I check?
Kid: Sure, that's okay.
Kid and Me: ...

I am sure you are all aware that I keep tabs on these developmental milestones, both on the calendar and with a physical exam.  It's in my nature; I just can't help it.

Me: Yep, you do.  You know that's normal, don't you?
Kid: I know.  Someone at school, and I won't say who, told us she had lopsided breasts.  That one was bigger than the other.
Me:  Does this girl even have breasts?
Kid: I don't know.  But she told us that.

I have to say I laughed when Kid said, "I don't know." Clearly, she isn't staring at her friends.  Good to know.

Me:  When?  In school?
Kid:  Yes.
Me:  She just randomly told you that?  In class?
Kid:  Yes.  And during that growth and development class, when Mrs. P said that some people have breasts of two different sizes, we looked at her, she looked at us, and we all smiled.

I could envision what Kid said, and it made me smile, too. Obviously you learn quite a bit in a public school.  Information that has real world applicability.

Me: Oh.  Well.  My breasts are two different sizes, too.
Kid:  Really?
Me:  Yes.  My left used to be bigger than the right, but then Melina sucked that left one so much, it deflated.  Now my right is bigger than my left.
Kid:  Oh.  That's funny.

Kid giggled and walked away.  I seem to be an endless source of amusement for my children.