Monday, September 12, 2016

The One About the Kids Who Know More Than I Do

WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT FOR THE LITTLES!

It's early in the morning sometime last week and I find myself chopping mini-cucumbers into small slices and placing them into plastic containers for the girls' lunches. Most of the time, I let the twins, who are 14 and freshmen in high school, make their own lunches. But I was putting together a work snack for myself and I thought I would help the twins save some time.

My intent was to peel them one mini cucumber each, wrap it in foil, and then place it into the respective lunch box. But after I'd peeled the cucumbers, I realized how phallic these two particular specimens looked. I could just imagine what the kids at the table would think as the girls unwrapped their cucumbers and went to place them into their mouths.

I had already chopped our cucumbers, so I had to find this picture here.
Yes, that's where we are these days. In the thick of high school depravity and debauchery. And just so you know it's not just me and my dirty mind. I asked the girls what would have happened had I sent them to school with intact cucumbers. (Ha!)

"You're right," Talia said. "We probably would have thought of that."

She didn't have to say what "that" meant, and when I asked them about the cucumbers, I never went into detail, either. They understand sexual innuendo so well, better than me sometimes, and when I look at them I think, "How did this happen? You're only 14!"

Fourteen today, out of college and beyond, tomorrow. Time's moving too quickly, I say...

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