Beginnings

I enjoy listening to most of Taylor Swift's songs.  I find the tunes to be catchy and the lyrics often make me relive times in my life.  Last week, in the car, I heard her new single, Begin Again; I sat back and simply enjoyed the melody.  It wasn't until the 2nd time that I heard it that I realized once again, I'm walking down memory lane with a song written by a 22 year old.  Which also makes me think that maybe Taylor's done a bit more living than I had by 22.  Of course, our living was just different.  Apparently Taylor's biggest problem these days is that she doesn't want to be seen twice in the same dress.  I wear the same jeans all week.  You can see how our experiences might differ.

Anyway, the Begin Again refrain goes a little like this:
But you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause he never did
I've been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again

It wasn't in a cafe and I have no idea what day of the week it was, but I distinctly remember beginning again when I was about to turn 25.  My boyfriend of two years and I had broken up in February, and I'd spent the next couple of months trying to figure things out, mostly with myself.  Life looked broken and burned, and my world at the time had pretty much ended.  And then I met Tim.

I resisted at first, I really did.  I mean, I responded to his phone calls and emails; I went out on a couple of dates.  I even smooched the poor guy (or maybe he smooched me).  Everything on the outside implied I was trying, but inside, turmoil raged.  How would I get over my past relationship? Could I get over it?  Was I ready to be over it and was I ready to begin again? 

I actually spoke about Tim to my ex (we're still friends to this day, so at the time, it didn't seem weird).  I can't remember what he said, but I distinctly remember sitting in the car, in the front seat, letting the tears run down my cheeks.  They were symbolic tears, I see now, washing away the past, the insecurities, the fears.  I needed to let them fall in order to move on and begin again.  And obviously, it worked, because here we are, almost 15 years later.

And sometimes it is the little things, like a song, that remind us of all that is precious in this life.  Go out and enjoy it.

Comments

Mama-Nana-Ruthi said…
LOVE this! you ARE such a ROMANTIC!

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