Giving It Up

There was a point in my life, almost twenty years ago now, where I felt that I was no longer in control of my life. I didn't feel as though someone else was running it, but I veered toward the notion that no matter what I did, I couldn't quite come up with a way to keep my life on the path I'd chosen. I kicked, I yelled, I groaned, and I complained. Nothing helped. Until I realized, that sometimes, you need to relax and become peaceful before you can move forward. That until you're willing to shut up and listen, you hear nothing. That sometimes, you can't do anything about what's happening to you and your life EXCEPT choose which reaction you're going to have.

That's where I'm at with this writing gig. I can only do so much: write what I think is the best piece I can write; query the agents that I think might like said piece; attend the proper workshops to meet people and learn the craft. After that, there's nothing I can do.

So, I'm giving it up this weekend. No, I'm not giving up my writing, I'm just giving the idea of publishing up to someone other than myself. If you choose to believe in God, then I guess I'm giving it up to Him. Or Budda. Or the Universe. Or whatever higher power is out there. I'm confident in what I can do to get to where I need to be, but I also know that the probability of actually publishing is slim. Whatever happens, happens. And I'll be okay with it.

In the meantime, I'll print up a copy of each of my books, formatted and bound just like a book, so that someday, my kids and grand kids can read the manuscripts and know that no matter what, I didn't actually give up. Sometimes like just has different plans that we do.