The Same, But Different: Part VI (Final Installment!)
When I went to my six week check-up with the OB, following the birth of the girls, I asked if I could find out if they were fraternal or identical. He said that the pathology department should have tested the placentas, and that I should check with my medical record. Either the pathology department didn't do their job, or else the results were never recorded. With two sacs and two placentas, the girls could be either fraternal or identical.
The pediatrician's bet was on identical: same hair color (what they had), same eye color, practically same weights, and same growth curve. At each well-check, the girls were pretty much the same in every way, at least physically. That early on, though, we could begin to see differences. Zoe preferred Mommy, and therefore, Talia, who may or may not have preferred Tim, at least was happy with him. I remember having to nurse Zoe to sleep when she was very young. Talia did not mind nursing, and then having Tim give her the bottle. I was able to tell the difference in their cries, and to this day, I can still tell them apart by their speaking voices (Tim cannot do this).
As they grew, their features also became different -- at least to me. Yes, they still had the same eye color, the same hair color, and were pretty much within a 1/4 inch of each other in length. But the set of their eyes, their cheeks, their hair, and their noses are all different. At one point, I would have sworn that they were indeed fraternal, and even now, I see so many differences, that others don't see. We eventually had them tested, just to put the thought to rest. The genetics company told us they were identical, and my sisters both said, "Did you need a test to tell you that?!?"
Once the kids entered toddler hood, their behavior started to separate, too. Both girls were very timid and hesitant to try new things. It took them a while to warm up to people, including their grandparents, and talking to neighbors was completely out of the question -- no matter how many times they had seen the people!
But it became apparent that Zoe was a bit more bossy, seemed to know what she wanted, and wanted only what she wanted. Talia, on the other hand, was a little bit less picky: she'd be happy with what was given to her, even if she wanted something else. Tim and I learned to alternate who chose things, so that each child would get turns at the things they'd really like. Zoe seems to want to please people a bit more, and is more of a follower, while Talia, still aiming to please, will stand up a bit if she has to. Zoe took to reading a bit quicker than Talia did, but Talia is more of an artist. Both girls will say they don't like math, but yet, with a bit of practice, they are pretty good at the subject. They both love piano and love to sing, and I cannot distinguish their singing voices.
I found it funny, at conferences this fall, that I referred to the girls each time as "they" even when I was speaking to their individual teachers. We decided to split them up, starting with pre-school, partly to foster independence, but also so that the girls would not constantly be referred to as "the twins." And yet, there I was, talking to Mrs. B. about Zoe, and saying "they." I apologized a bunch of times, but seriously, their similarities are so abundant, especially with respect to school, that I can get the lowdown on one child and know what is coming from the next teacher. (Their report cards are usually exactly alike!) The people at school are learning, but many of them still get the girls confused. One woman in the office was convinced we only had one child in second grade last year!
My plan is to post a couple of twin thoughts from time to time. Raising twins, identical twins at that, has been a blast! The instant party they have with the other person, the adoration the girls have for one another, they way they complete the others sentence or say the exact thing at the same time...amazing and uncanny. I am sure the years to come will provide us with many a post to share. I look forward to what is to come, and hope you do, too.
P.S. In case you aren't sure, Zoe is on the left in both pictures.
The pediatrician's bet was on identical: same hair color (what they had), same eye color, practically same weights, and same growth curve. At each well-check, the girls were pretty much the same in every way, at least physically. That early on, though, we could begin to see differences. Zoe preferred Mommy, and therefore, Talia, who may or may not have preferred Tim, at least was happy with him. I remember having to nurse Zoe to sleep when she was very young. Talia did not mind nursing, and then having Tim give her the bottle. I was able to tell the difference in their cries, and to this day, I can still tell them apart by their speaking voices (Tim cannot do this).
As they grew, their features also became different -- at least to me. Yes, they still had the same eye color, the same hair color, and were pretty much within a 1/4 inch of each other in length. But the set of their eyes, their cheeks, their hair, and their noses are all different. At one point, I would have sworn that they were indeed fraternal, and even now, I see so many differences, that others don't see. We eventually had them tested, just to put the thought to rest. The genetics company told us they were identical, and my sisters both said, "Did you need a test to tell you that?!?"
Once the kids entered toddler hood, their behavior started to separate, too. Both girls were very timid and hesitant to try new things. It took them a while to warm up to people, including their grandparents, and talking to neighbors was completely out of the question -- no matter how many times they had seen the people!
But it became apparent that Zoe was a bit more bossy, seemed to know what she wanted, and wanted only what she wanted. Talia, on the other hand, was a little bit less picky: she'd be happy with what was given to her, even if she wanted something else. Tim and I learned to alternate who chose things, so that each child would get turns at the things they'd really like. Zoe seems to want to please people a bit more, and is more of a follower, while Talia, still aiming to please, will stand up a bit if she has to. Zoe took to reading a bit quicker than Talia did, but Talia is more of an artist. Both girls will say they don't like math, but yet, with a bit of practice, they are pretty good at the subject. They both love piano and love to sing, and I cannot distinguish their singing voices.
I found it funny, at conferences this fall, that I referred to the girls each time as "they" even when I was speaking to their individual teachers. We decided to split them up, starting with pre-school, partly to foster independence, but also so that the girls would not constantly be referred to as "the twins." And yet, there I was, talking to Mrs. B. about Zoe, and saying "they." I apologized a bunch of times, but seriously, their similarities are so abundant, especially with respect to school, that I can get the lowdown on one child and know what is coming from the next teacher. (Their report cards are usually exactly alike!) The people at school are learning, but many of them still get the girls confused. One woman in the office was convinced we only had one child in second grade last year!
My plan is to post a couple of twin thoughts from time to time. Raising twins, identical twins at that, has been a blast! The instant party they have with the other person, the adoration the girls have for one another, they way they complete the others sentence or say the exact thing at the same time...amazing and uncanny. I am sure the years to come will provide us with many a post to share. I look forward to what is to come, and hope you do, too.
P.S. In case you aren't sure, Zoe is on the left in both pictures.
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