I am about 2/3 of the way through a book I picked up from the library. Because I like to be surprised with books, I usually request some titles that I know will be good, but I also wander through the stacks to see what books look interesting. The jury is still out on this one, but it is called "Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakthrough" by Ruth Pennebaker. Definitely not a book that Tim would pick up. It has a readers guide inside, so I can only imagine that it might make a good choice for a book club. It is definitely a book written for women.
Now, I should mention that this book is the story of 3 generations of women, all living together under one roof. Joanie has recently gone through a divorce; her mother, a widow, is financially unable to live alone and has moved in with Joanie; Caroline is Joanie's 15 year old daughter. The story is told from all 3 point of views, and the author successfully paints a portrait of these characters and what each is going through at the time.
Inside this book, on page 45, the author writes,
When I read that paragraph, I stopped. I then went back and reread it, twice. I then literally took a moment to think about my life now, and then. What was life back when I was 15 in high school? Not a very good time in my life. I was awkward and gawky, had a mouthful of braces and permed hair. I had a few good friends, but was frightened by boys, and I detested my school and the people that ran it. Did I have times of happiness and feeling carefree? Indeed. Did I think of my happiness as fleeting? No. I would never have thought that, despite the youthful angst that permeated much of my high school years.
I then reflected on my life in the present. Would I consider life to be grimmer the older I got? I don't think so. I think I have so many more joyful moments now compared to when I was younger. Yes, life is slightly more involved because my responsibilities have increased. And perhaps some of those moments are more difficult. But with age, I have figured out how to best respond to what lies in front of me. My fifteen year old self would have only reacted to everything in one way: panic. The wisdom of age has allowed me to see things differently, perhaps more clearly, and I tend to enjoy many things just a bit more than I did back then. I am able to see the humor in many more situations as well as just appreciate the moment for what it is.
Reading the paragraph above also made me recall a conversation I had this past weekend with Zoe. She mentioned that she didn't want to be going into 4th grade next year, as she really didn't want to grow up. My mind raced when she said that. I remembered all the anxiety from studying for tests and test taking. I thought of the way I'd get nervous before basketball and volleyball games, how I'd get frustrated with friends, and all of the seemingly little molehills I made into mountains. In the span of about a couple of milliseconds, I thought of all that, and then of all the moments of clarity and joy I have experienced, especially since the kids have come along. All I could say to Zoe was that growing up is daunting, but at the same time, there is so much to look forward to. We didn't have time to chat about it, as we were packing up to leave Grandma's house, but I hope to return to the conversation in the future.
Granted, this book is, for the most part, a picture of these women at a point in their lives when they are disgruntled. They don't have the fortitude to see beyond what is in front of them and find the humor, the happiness, the joy that might just be in that moment. I am betting the author will bring these ladies and the story around toward a positive end, but in the meantime, I appreciate the books that get me thinking. I'll keep you posted on whether or not I'd consider it a great read.
Now, I should mention that this book is the story of 3 generations of women, all living together under one roof. Joanie has recently gone through a divorce; her mother, a widow, is financially unable to live alone and has moved in with Joanie; Caroline is Joanie's 15 year old daughter. The story is told from all 3 point of views, and the author successfully paints a portrait of these characters and what each is going through at the time.
Inside this book, on page 45, the author writes,
"A passerby might have thought the two girls, both in the lighthearted, sunny days of youth, were sharing a memory of the fun they'd had at school that day. He might have even envied them for being young and happy and carefree. But they might as well enjoy themselves while they could, he would have thought, since life became so much grimmer and more difficult the older you got."
When I read that paragraph, I stopped. I then went back and reread it, twice. I then literally took a moment to think about my life now, and then. What was life back when I was 15 in high school? Not a very good time in my life. I was awkward and gawky, had a mouthful of braces and permed hair. I had a few good friends, but was frightened by boys, and I detested my school and the people that ran it. Did I have times of happiness and feeling carefree? Indeed. Did I think of my happiness as fleeting? No. I would never have thought that, despite the youthful angst that permeated much of my high school years.
I then reflected on my life in the present. Would I consider life to be grimmer the older I got? I don't think so. I think I have so many more joyful moments now compared to when I was younger. Yes, life is slightly more involved because my responsibilities have increased. And perhaps some of those moments are more difficult. But with age, I have figured out how to best respond to what lies in front of me. My fifteen year old self would have only reacted to everything in one way: panic. The wisdom of age has allowed me to see things differently, perhaps more clearly, and I tend to enjoy many things just a bit more than I did back then. I am able to see the humor in many more situations as well as just appreciate the moment for what it is.
Reading the paragraph above also made me recall a conversation I had this past weekend with Zoe. She mentioned that she didn't want to be going into 4th grade next year, as she really didn't want to grow up. My mind raced when she said that. I remembered all the anxiety from studying for tests and test taking. I thought of the way I'd get nervous before basketball and volleyball games, how I'd get frustrated with friends, and all of the seemingly little molehills I made into mountains. In the span of about a couple of milliseconds, I thought of all that, and then of all the moments of clarity and joy I have experienced, especially since the kids have come along. All I could say to Zoe was that growing up is daunting, but at the same time, there is so much to look forward to. We didn't have time to chat about it, as we were packing up to leave Grandma's house, but I hope to return to the conversation in the future.
Granted, this book is, for the most part, a picture of these women at a point in their lives when they are disgruntled. They don't have the fortitude to see beyond what is in front of them and find the humor, the happiness, the joy that might just be in that moment. I am betting the author will bring these ladies and the story around toward a positive end, but in the meantime, I appreciate the books that get me thinking. I'll keep you posted on whether or not I'd consider it a great read.
Comments
Oh - it kind of breaks my heart about Zoe - it IS scary. But so many great things too. I am sure you'll discuss it again.