Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I Regret to Inform You

Dear Trader Joe's:

I've come to expect a lot from you. I love your sesame sticks, veggie sticks, Feta cheese, pasta, veggie meatballs, bag of Honeycrisp apples and Pumpkin Bread mix. The list is much longer, but you don't need a comprehensive list from me. So I was very excited, no thrilled, to see a Pumpkin Cranberry Scone mix sitting on the shelf. Perhaps the fact that it was on the shelf, should have been my first clue. In contrast, the Pumpkin Bread mix is bought by friend and foe such that I squirrel away boxes for the next year and people shove past each other in the aisle to get the last box.

But try it, I did. And served the freshly made and still warm scones to a few friends with tea this morning. I labeled the scones meh, as the kids like to say, and my friends agreed. Do you want to know why? It's easy: I could find the cranberry, but I tasted nothing that resembled pumpkin. Sure, there was a bit of spice, but not enough to call the scone a Pumpkin Cranberry scone.  Meh is not how I like to start my morning. Meh just doesn't cut it.

And so I blame you. Because of my meh scone, my mood soured and I got agitated at the smallest of things. But hey, my scone didn't taste like pumpkin, so I can blame it, or you. At the grocery store, when I forgot the list in the car, I blamed the scone. When I couldn't get dinner done fast enough for four hungry kids, yep, you got it, I took all accountability away from me and shoved it into your face, Joe. All because of your scone.

I've thought about actually sending you a nice note, telling you how much I really do love most of your products and that you need to go back to the drawing board, but since my day started off really badly, I'm tired, and I think I'll head to bed.

I plan on going back to my standard animal crackers and coffee in the morning.

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