Eyes Wide Open
Danger, Will Robinson! This post is not for the young. Or those who might be easily offended by pop culture references. Or by those who are simply prudish. Don't say I didn't warn you.
The twins are voracious readers who read just about anything we allow them to read. About a year ago, they said, "Can we read Looking for Alaska?" Since I enjoyed that book (and you know about my obsession with John Green), I said they could. And then I remembered the Crest Complete Incident. If you're not sure what that incident might be, Google "Crest Complete Looking for Alaska" and you'll see what I mean. Was it my proudest moment, allowing my girls to read about oral sex? No, it was not. But in classic John Green style, much of what he said was completely lost on them. (Not that he's a bad writer. Clearly, I'm his biggest fan. But the man writes scenes in such a way that sometimes, the innocent are spared exactly what he's talking about.) In fact, they had to ask me exactly what the scene was about, and because I try to be open with my children, I explained it to them.
Anyway, we now use the Crest Complete Incident as the standard around here for whether or not the girls can read a book. Imagine a flow chart with the words, Is it worse than Crest Complete? at the top, and underneath that, If yes --> Can't read; If no --> Can read. A good example of what constitutes No in our house would be New Adult novels like those written by Colleen Hoover. They are chock full of graphic sex scenes, which are not meant for young teens, at least in my opinion. (Of course, New Adult targets readers 18 and older, but you know how many kids are...they like to read up.)
So today, we went to the library. We picked out some books for everyone, and headed home. After dinner, a twin who shall remain nameless called to me. "Hey Mom, can you come here? What does this mean?" She showed me the book she had been reading, a novel by Lauren Myracle called ttyl. The entire novel is written in texts, from the point of view of tenth graders, and to be honest, I hadn't realized she picked it up. "Look, right here," she said and pointed to the words. And there, on page 11, it said:
I'm sure you're wondering how I reacted, right? Here comes another fine parenting moment. I took the book away from her, laid it on the library book shelf in our home, and told her that I'd explain what the words meant but that I wouldn't allow her to read the book. (Yes, that was the okay portion of the moment. The part where you nod your head and pump your fist in the air and say, "Yes! She's a great mother! Go Chris!") Then, I pulled my worn copy of Flowers in the Attic off the shelf and tossed it to her. "You want to read crap? Then read this," I said. Apparently incest with few details is less disturbing in my mind than tenth graders who've had sex.
The twins are voracious readers who read just about anything we allow them to read. About a year ago, they said, "Can we read Looking for Alaska?" Since I enjoyed that book (and you know about my obsession with John Green), I said they could. And then I remembered the Crest Complete Incident. If you're not sure what that incident might be, Google "Crest Complete Looking for Alaska" and you'll see what I mean. Was it my proudest moment, allowing my girls to read about oral sex? No, it was not. But in classic John Green style, much of what he said was completely lost on them. (Not that he's a bad writer. Clearly, I'm his biggest fan. But the man writes scenes in such a way that sometimes, the innocent are spared exactly what he's talking about.) In fact, they had to ask me exactly what the scene was about, and because I try to be open with my children, I explained it to them.
Anyway, we now use the Crest Complete Incident as the standard around here for whether or not the girls can read a book. Imagine a flow chart with the words, Is it worse than Crest Complete? at the top, and underneath that, If yes --> Can't read; If no --> Can read. A good example of what constitutes No in our house would be New Adult novels like those written by Colleen Hoover. They are chock full of graphic sex scenes, which are not meant for young teens, at least in my opinion. (Of course, New Adult targets readers 18 and older, but you know how many kids are...they like to read up.)
So today, we went to the library. We picked out some books for everyone, and headed home. After dinner, a twin who shall remain nameless called to me. "Hey Mom, can you come here? What does this mean?" She showed me the book she had been reading, a novel by Lauren Myracle called ttyl. The entire novel is written in texts, from the point of view of tenth graders, and to be honest, I hadn't realized she picked it up. "Look, right here," she said and pointed to the words. And there, on page 11, it said:
SnowAngel: well, she said that margaret. . . er . . . ejaculatesYeah, I'm not sure if the twin was stuck on the word ejaculates, or she wasn't sure what it meant by the phrase when she comes. But in those few seconds, I determined that this book had surpassed the Crest Complete Incident. Not only is the book inappropriate for the twins, hell, the book isn't appropriate for me! Call me sheltered, but I didn't know what it meant to come in tenth grade!! (I knew about ejaculation, as even then, I was an A & P fanatic.)
mad maddie: WHAT?!!!
SnowAngel: well, actually she said she squirts when she comes. and then she was like, "shit, i can't believe i told u. u've gotta swear not to tell, terri, u've gotta swear!" while the whole time i was 2 sinks over going "HELLO! do u even know i'm here?"
I'm sure you're wondering how I reacted, right? Here comes another fine parenting moment. I took the book away from her, laid it on the library book shelf in our home, and told her that I'd explain what the words meant but that I wouldn't allow her to read the book. (Yes, that was the okay portion of the moment. The part where you nod your head and pump your fist in the air and say, "Yes! She's a great mother! Go Chris!") Then, I pulled my worn copy of Flowers in the Attic off the shelf and tossed it to her. "You want to read crap? Then read this," I said. Apparently incest with few details is less disturbing in my mind than tenth graders who've had sex.
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