Warm Fuzzies
Warm fuzzies are what I need right now.
Not only is it the middle of winter, my least favorite time of the year. But I fear we are in the midst of pre-teen angst at our house. I cannot fathom the years to come with twins that are girls. The moodiness, the drama, the sheer pain of teenage girls. Ugh.
Zoe asked last night about watching television -- something we monitor in our house. We try to keep the amount of television to a minimum, many weeks going without watching it at all. We also make sure we know what the kids are watching. The kids haven't watched that much at all in the last couple of weeks, but both girls were tired last night (not that they would admit it) and I just said, "No, not tonight."
Zoe had the chance to reply, "Okay mom. Maybe tomorrow," and then go on her way. Instead, she opted to use her body language to show her displeasure. She smirked at me, and then slumped her shoulders. She dragged her backpack to the back hallway, glancing at me sideways. It was clear she was not pleased. She essentially did not speak to me before she went to bed. And believe it or not, she was STILL angry this morning! She wouldn't answer me when I gave her the choices for breakfast, and she removed herself from the room when I was handing out kisses before I left for work.
My first response was to get angry! I didn't appreciate the disrespectful attitude, nor did I like the example she was setting for her siblings. Luckily, the only one to notice was Talia, who confirmed that Zoe was still mad about the television issue. I told Zoe that her behavior certainly wouldn't be getting her TV time any sooner, but to be quite frank, I was too busy to figure out any other consequence to her actions.
After I put my things in the car, I came back in the house specifically to give Zoe a hug and a kiss. If something had happened to me on the way to work, I didn't want her to think that I didn't love her, or that I had neglected to give her smooches. The last thing she would need is to feel guilty for the rest of her life. She was like a stone statue, but tolerated me touching her. She didn't say a word as I walked out the door.
As I sat in the car, hoping to hear something soothing on the radio, I realized how bummed I was at her actions. I know we get angry at our kids and they get frustrated with us. But this morning, in the middle of January, dark skies and snow falling, I needed her to let go of that anger and hug me back. I needed to agree to disagree and at least communicate enough so that I don't sit here thinking about it all day. I wanted some warm fuzzies, and got none.
Perhaps I will let her read this post this afternoon, once she gets home from school. She likes to communicate in writing, and if I let her read this, and tell her just how much I love her, how much I missed her warm fuzzies this morning (I LIVE for the hugs and smooches from my kids!), perhaps she can let that anger go, and we can move on. I know this is just the beginning, and can only hope that we survive!
Not only is it the middle of winter, my least favorite time of the year. But I fear we are in the midst of pre-teen angst at our house. I cannot fathom the years to come with twins that are girls. The moodiness, the drama, the sheer pain of teenage girls. Ugh.
Zoe asked last night about watching television -- something we monitor in our house. We try to keep the amount of television to a minimum, many weeks going without watching it at all. We also make sure we know what the kids are watching. The kids haven't watched that much at all in the last couple of weeks, but both girls were tired last night (not that they would admit it) and I just said, "No, not tonight."
Zoe had the chance to reply, "Okay mom. Maybe tomorrow," and then go on her way. Instead, she opted to use her body language to show her displeasure. She smirked at me, and then slumped her shoulders. She dragged her backpack to the back hallway, glancing at me sideways. It was clear she was not pleased. She essentially did not speak to me before she went to bed. And believe it or not, she was STILL angry this morning! She wouldn't answer me when I gave her the choices for breakfast, and she removed herself from the room when I was handing out kisses before I left for work.
My first response was to get angry! I didn't appreciate the disrespectful attitude, nor did I like the example she was setting for her siblings. Luckily, the only one to notice was Talia, who confirmed that Zoe was still mad about the television issue. I told Zoe that her behavior certainly wouldn't be getting her TV time any sooner, but to be quite frank, I was too busy to figure out any other consequence to her actions.
After I put my things in the car, I came back in the house specifically to give Zoe a hug and a kiss. If something had happened to me on the way to work, I didn't want her to think that I didn't love her, or that I had neglected to give her smooches. The last thing she would need is to feel guilty for the rest of her life. She was like a stone statue, but tolerated me touching her. She didn't say a word as I walked out the door.
As I sat in the car, hoping to hear something soothing on the radio, I realized how bummed I was at her actions. I know we get angry at our kids and they get frustrated with us. But this morning, in the middle of January, dark skies and snow falling, I needed her to let go of that anger and hug me back. I needed to agree to disagree and at least communicate enough so that I don't sit here thinking about it all day. I wanted some warm fuzzies, and got none.
Perhaps I will let her read this post this afternoon, once she gets home from school. She likes to communicate in writing, and if I let her read this, and tell her just how much I love her, how much I missed her warm fuzzies this morning (I LIVE for the hugs and smooches from my kids!), perhaps she can let that anger go, and we can move on. I know this is just the beginning, and can only hope that we survive!
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