Missed Opportunities

A Facebook friend of mine posted today that he feared that his poor decisions had cost him many things in life. "There is nothing worse than 'what ifs' in life...but as I look back, I am pretty sure I missed my opportunity," he wrote. One person commented with a frown face, while another mentioned the struggle bus. While I can appreciate empathizing with him, I chose to make my comment a bit more positive and uplifting. I said, "Knowing that now, it might help you avoid more missed opportunities in the future. You have a ton of time to get where you want to be."

I wasn't trying to be hokey or anything. This guy is 39 years old and truly has a lot of time left on this earth. And half of the battle most of the time is acknowledging what the problem is. Well, he knows what the problem is, and he acknowledged it. Now, he can go forward.

For some reason, this friend's plight struck a nerve with me and I felt like I needed to be his cheerleader. This is a guy I barely spoke with in high school, but he always seemed nice. It seems as though he has had his fair share of disappointments, but as he says, they may have been the result of his bad decisions. On the other hand, and I am no therapist here, now that he realizes this, perhaps he should try to adjust his attitude. If he can be more positive from the get go, perhaps he will view the world, his plight, his decisions, and everything around him differently. Sometimes, that different point of view lets you see everything a bit more clearly.

I think part of the reason his post resonates with me is that right now, as many of you know, I am in a state of limbo. Teaching is on hiatus for a bit, and I am still trying to figure out what I would like to do with myself. I have said that I would like to be a writer, but actually saying that and accomplishing the feat are completely different things. His post made me wonder. Have I missed my opportunity to become a writer? I don't think so, but if I look back at my decisions, both good and bad, they have not steered me in that direction. However, at the time I made the decisions, becoming a writer was not on the radar. So how can I call the decision I made at that time good or bad for making that opportunity come true? I can't.

I am a true believer in making a decision based on the information you have. If you take that information, really look at it, digest it, and use it in your decision, then you most likely make the best decision you can at the time. And perhaps my friend could say the same thing. Maybe my friend did what he could with his information, but now, after having more age, and wisdom, he thinks those decisions were bad. At the time, they might not have been.

And so I have some questions for him. Have his eyes been open to any and all opportunities? Has he considered options that he might not even look at as opportunities? Does he understand that sometimes the opportunity we think we want and that of which we need are two different things? I don't care if you believe in God or a higher power or Fate or nothing. Sometimes, things just don't go as we plan them, and even if we think we made the best decision, or a bad one for that matter, we can't take all of the blame.

I feel for my friend. All of this blathering from a casual post on Facebook. I guess I just wanted him to know he isn't alone.