My Stint as a Fashion Model

So, seamless underwear is pretty comfortable. I thought I'd let you know, in case you are interested in buying a pair or two. I put mine on this morning, when I headed up the street to pose as a model for a fashion show.

Here's the thing. I am not model material. I have regular brown hair, big hazel eyes, and stand at slightly less than five feet one inch. I have never been mistaken for anyone other than Tina Fey (who isn't bad looking, but she is known for being funny, not beautiful), and I have never had any dreams of rocking the runway. I do, however, live next to the person coordinating a fashion show for charity. She needed some people who could fit into the clothes that would be on display.

After I laughed at her message, the one in which she asked if I'd like to be a model, I thought about taking risks and enjoying life. Never, and I mean never, would this opportunity come along again. Besides, I could look forward to having my hair and makeup done. Something I definitely don't do regularly. My idea of makeup is wearing lipstick. Here was my chance!

Sometimes the vision you have and reality do not match up. Unfortunately, this was one of those times. Let me explain in the most simple of terms:

My hair vision: Hair worn down, little bit of volume at the top, perhaps either flat-ironed or maybe go crazy and wear it in curls. The vision softened my 38.5 year old face.

My hair reality: Hair worn up, after having it flat-ironed. Severely pulled away from my face. The reality made me look older and worn out.

My makeup vision: Smoky, dramatic eyeshadow and some liner to accentuate the fact that I have large eyes. Darker lips.

My makeup reality: Teal, sparkly eyeshadow, mascara, no liner. Pink lipstick.

My clothes vision: Something fitted and hip, a fun dress or pants outfit.

My clothes reality: (1) Flowing shirt/dress with tailored jacket; (2) Long flowing dress that looked like an updated Muu muu; (3) Short dress that went in at the waist and had a large hole at the front.

I went for a run this morning, pre-showtime, and I am glad that I did, because as much fun as I did have, I was more serene when things didn't pan out the way I had envisioned. I don't know what the hair guy was thinking. No wait, yes, I do. Everyone else was tall. His impetus for putting my hair the way he did was to give me height. In the end, though, he sacrificed what looked nice for height. However, when I did a Google search for models, I looked at some of the hair dos, and realized that what he did was spot on, for a runway in bigger cities. Not here.

And the makeup? Well, there were 9 girls and 1 old lady (me). Literally, I was the old lady. The first two other girls to arrive were 15 and 20, as the designer had put out a model call, and they had heeded the call! Their ages together didn't add up to mine! Anyway, the makeup artist should have been able to divide 2 hours of prep time by 10 people. 120 minutes, 10 people to take care of, that means 12 minutes per person. She spent the first 30 minutes on one person, another 35 on the 2nd person, and then realized that she had booked a personal appointment at the same time. She had the lady come in, and she spent 45 minutes of our time on her. You can see how much time was left for us. Hence, the smear of makeup that she passed off as having "made me up." I truly think I could have done better myself.

As I said above, I did have fun. Partly because I had never done something like that before. Plus, I had nothing to lose. Some of the girls were scoping each other out, which didn't phase me, as I am not a model and never will be. Let them get all jittery and nervous and insecure at the thought that someone else might be better looking. I, for one, just didn't care. I got a couple of good laughs, too, at conversations that went on in the room. These ladies were so young, and I was just so far away from that point in my life, I just shook my head and laughed. To them, it was obscene that they had to get up at 7 am! And how can there not be cell phone service in here?

I gave the girls the camera, but it was too hectic to take pictures, so I only have a couple of blurry ones that my friends were able to capture. If I had been happy with the product, I would have likely found someone to take a bunch of pictures, some of which I would share. These friends that were able to make it, said I was awesome. While I think they would have said that even if I wasn't, I can honestly say that I didn't fall down while walking in my three inch heels, and I actually walked on a 25 foot runway. Those things, indeed, mean I was awesome, if I do say so myself!