Cats!
Do you know how much I like cats? We have two of them, so you would think that I actually love them. Well, I don't. I like one cat. His name is Oscar, and he's been dead for quite a while now. I fell in love with that cat, and he with me, and when we parted (upon my leaving for college) it was so bittersweet. I didn't think I'd ever find a cat to replace him, and I haven't. And yet, as I said, we own two cats.
Why? When I first moved out into my own apartment, I felt that I needed some company. I was living alone, and could not have a dog, so I opted for a cat. I just needed to be able to come home to somebody, and not a silent apartment. I found an advertisement in the newspaper and called it right away. The woman giving the cats away was named Lillian, and she lived in the next town over.
Tim and I were dating at the time, and so I dragged him with me to Lillian's house. He figured since you should never go to a stranger's home alone, he better go. And he would have to be friendly with this cat, so he probably wanted to see which one I'd pick out. We made it to Lillian's house, but when we got there, the cats were hiding. That should have been an omen. The cats don't want you, so go away. I persisted.
We left there with not one, but two cats -- my original twins. The momma cat had delivered a litter of four kittens, and Lillian wanted to give them away in pairs, so that they wouldn't be lonely. That probably was the second omen. You don't want two cats, so go away. Instead, I thought it was a good idea. I was a graduate student at the time, so I'd be away from the apartment quite a bit. If the cats had each other, that would be just swell. I quickly said okay. And, I had two great names that I always wanted to use for pets: Lucy and Ferdinand. Two cats, two names. Great.
Aside from the fact that Lucy is actually a male cat, and that both cats are considered obese by the veterinarian, they look like everyday normal indoor cats. They sleep most of the day, and always have. They use the litter, and meow and purr wildly. But these cats, these cats, they are not normal! Evidence that I have?
1. When we still lived in the promised land, and Tim was working at night, Lucy would walk around the apartment whining for him. Loudly. Once Tim came home, Lucy would jump into bed with me. Idiot! I was there the whole time.
2. Lucy has always had a problem covering up his feces. It just sits there. Litter does not control odor if you do not cover what you just eliminated!
3. Speaking of feces, Ferdinand also has a problem. He uses the litter box very well, but neglects to clean his nether regions. I don't even want to get into what can happen due to that lovely characteristic of his.
4. Since moving here, the cats have had digestive issues. Yes, they are getting older, but when we first arrived, almost 8 years ago, they were not older. It seems almost daily -- and I am not exaggerating, just ask Tim -- that we find some spot of cat vomit. This wouldn't be too much of a problem on the wood floor or tile, or even the carpet, but we find it on bedsheets, sleeping bags, and comforters. I do enough laundry with all these people, so I don't really like having to do extras. In fact, I loathe it. I can honestly say I lost it a few minutes ago when the girls told me that yet again, there was cat vomit on their beds.
Once I got downstairs, I began thinking of all of the things these guys do that aggravate me, and then my mind just spiraled out of control. I figured I better do something quick. My first thought was to write up an advertisement on Craigs List for them: 2 free cats to a good home. Neutered males. Up to date on shots. Medical records, all cats necessities included. No medical issues (hee, hee). I thought better of that, and turned on the computer. A blog can be quite cathartic, you know?
Why? When I first moved out into my own apartment, I felt that I needed some company. I was living alone, and could not have a dog, so I opted for a cat. I just needed to be able to come home to somebody, and not a silent apartment. I found an advertisement in the newspaper and called it right away. The woman giving the cats away was named Lillian, and she lived in the next town over.
Tim and I were dating at the time, and so I dragged him with me to Lillian's house. He figured since you should never go to a stranger's home alone, he better go. And he would have to be friendly with this cat, so he probably wanted to see which one I'd pick out. We made it to Lillian's house, but when we got there, the cats were hiding. That should have been an omen. The cats don't want you, so go away. I persisted.
We left there with not one, but two cats -- my original twins. The momma cat had delivered a litter of four kittens, and Lillian wanted to give them away in pairs, so that they wouldn't be lonely. That probably was the second omen. You don't want two cats, so go away. Instead, I thought it was a good idea. I was a graduate student at the time, so I'd be away from the apartment quite a bit. If the cats had each other, that would be just swell. I quickly said okay. And, I had two great names that I always wanted to use for pets: Lucy and Ferdinand. Two cats, two names. Great.
Aside from the fact that Lucy is actually a male cat, and that both cats are considered obese by the veterinarian, they look like everyday normal indoor cats. They sleep most of the day, and always have. They use the litter, and meow and purr wildly. But these cats, these cats, they are not normal! Evidence that I have?
1. When we still lived in the promised land, and Tim was working at night, Lucy would walk around the apartment whining for him. Loudly. Once Tim came home, Lucy would jump into bed with me. Idiot! I was there the whole time.
2. Lucy has always had a problem covering up his feces. It just sits there. Litter does not control odor if you do not cover what you just eliminated!
3. Speaking of feces, Ferdinand also has a problem. He uses the litter box very well, but neglects to clean his nether regions. I don't even want to get into what can happen due to that lovely characteristic of his.
4. Since moving here, the cats have had digestive issues. Yes, they are getting older, but when we first arrived, almost 8 years ago, they were not older. It seems almost daily -- and I am not exaggerating, just ask Tim -- that we find some spot of cat vomit. This wouldn't be too much of a problem on the wood floor or tile, or even the carpet, but we find it on bedsheets, sleeping bags, and comforters. I do enough laundry with all these people, so I don't really like having to do extras. In fact, I loathe it. I can honestly say I lost it a few minutes ago when the girls told me that yet again, there was cat vomit on their beds.
Once I got downstairs, I began thinking of all of the things these guys do that aggravate me, and then my mind just spiraled out of control. I figured I better do something quick. My first thought was to write up an advertisement on Craigs List for them: 2 free cats to a good home. Neutered males. Up to date on shots. Medical records, all cats necessities included. No medical issues (hee, hee). I thought better of that, and turned on the computer. A blog can be quite cathartic, you know?
Comments
I like YOUR cats because they seem to be unlike other cats I've met in that they don't flock to me. I swear most cats can tell I'm allergic and approach me as if they can help me get over it - they cannot.