Acceptance
A good friend of mine reminded me that acceptance and accountability go hand in hand. And she's right. While years ago I would get defensive at someone pointing out my inability to accept someone, I'm now at the age where I consider what she wrote a gentle nudge. To become a better person.
But here's what people don't know.
I actually try to practice acceptance on a daily basis, because along with accountabilty, we should be not only tolerant of everyone, but accepting. And I am, mostly. It's easy to be accepting or tolerant of people we don't know, or people who do not afffect us each day. But when those people and their actions (and inactions) affect me and the people I love, then I tend to be less accepting of them.
I'm wrong. I know this. I expect everyone else to accept me as I am, but to be honest, I try to change when I hurt other people. I look at what I did and move toward understanding how not to let it happen again. I'm not always successful, but I try.
And while someone close to me once said, "Trying is a noisy way of doing nothing," I completely disagree. It's better to try and not succeed than to not try at all. And that, my friends, is why I have the problem that I have. I can accept you for your blue hair and your tattoos, your republican ideals, or your whoring ways. I can accept that you choose to serve your children fast food several times a week or that you don't think homework is important. I can accept that you prefer to stay at home and watch TV or that you don't want to fly to Rome. Those are personal choices you make each and every day. I don't have to like them and I don't have to agree with them, but as long as you aren't hurting anyone, I can't say much.
But if you don't even try to help yourself or change your ways so that you refrain from hurting yourself or others, well then, I can say something. I should say something. Some might argue that I am morally obliged to do so. And once I've said something, I might even possibly do something about it.
So I'm willing to try to be more accepting of you. To understand that you are who you are, and that nothing is going to change that. But the minute I find you hurting yourself or others, I'm going to come down so hard, you won't know what hit you. And sadly, with several circles in my life, we're almost to that point.
Of course that, my friends, is for another post. Or a novel. We'll see.
But here's what people don't know.
I actually try to practice acceptance on a daily basis, because along with accountabilty, we should be not only tolerant of everyone, but accepting. And I am, mostly. It's easy to be accepting or tolerant of people we don't know, or people who do not afffect us each day. But when those people and their actions (and inactions) affect me and the people I love, then I tend to be less accepting of them.
I'm wrong. I know this. I expect everyone else to accept me as I am, but to be honest, I try to change when I hurt other people. I look at what I did and move toward understanding how not to let it happen again. I'm not always successful, but I try.
And while someone close to me once said, "Trying is a noisy way of doing nothing," I completely disagree. It's better to try and not succeed than to not try at all. And that, my friends, is why I have the problem that I have. I can accept you for your blue hair and your tattoos, your republican ideals, or your whoring ways. I can accept that you choose to serve your children fast food several times a week or that you don't think homework is important. I can accept that you prefer to stay at home and watch TV or that you don't want to fly to Rome. Those are personal choices you make each and every day. I don't have to like them and I don't have to agree with them, but as long as you aren't hurting anyone, I can't say much.
But if you don't even try to help yourself or change your ways so that you refrain from hurting yourself or others, well then, I can say something. I should say something. Some might argue that I am morally obliged to do so. And once I've said something, I might even possibly do something about it.
So I'm willing to try to be more accepting of you. To understand that you are who you are, and that nothing is going to change that. But the minute I find you hurting yourself or others, I'm going to come down so hard, you won't know what hit you. And sadly, with several circles in my life, we're almost to that point.
Of course that, my friends, is for another post. Or a novel. We'll see.
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